"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."
This is the opposite of how Cloyd Garth works. He wants people to be a little uncomfortable around him so they work hard for his approval.
Good moments of collaboration in a school look like this... well-timed and with the best intentions for the people involved.
How collaboration looks a lot of the time: A little messy but it pulls off something really cool.
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CUT TO Cloyd Garth's office. The desk is covered by mountains of papers and a wall calendar that hadn't been updated since March. That's how things get in the spring. Kids are testing, teachers are taking their last saved days off, and principals are running around trying to collect data in every place they can. The air in the building has a hard time keeping up with the heat outside.
Garth: You know, a number of the kids want you to move up with them. She nods. Garth: Do you want to do it? She hesitates and then speaks. The teacher: Yes. Garth: Why? The teacher: Because I had this great high school experience. I was lucky to have good teachers who challenged us to think independently. I was so privileged. I kept thinking about how sad it was that my kids couldn’t have that, but then I decided I could try to be that. I mean, I won’t be as good as them, not for a while, but I am trying. Last semester, I tried really hard to set higher expectations and push them to grow more, and I think a lot of them did. I don’t know, I want to be a better teacher than last year to make it up to them that I was so bad the first semester. Garth smiles at her. Garth: You know, I wasn’t sure I’d give it to you, but that pretty much sealed my decision. English II is yours. You’re going to be great. I know it. |
This episode is the happiest of the season so far. It’s when we start to see a confused teacher accept the help she’s always needed in order to become an alright teacher. During this episode, you will see some new characters, people that helped the teacher survive and thrive.
I think back to Garth’s office and that conversation. I will admit when I took that on, I did not realize the pressure on the state test's shoulders. 300 points of the 1000 that we are graded on come from English II. That set in quickly for me as August approached. I planned lessons throughout July, trying to model things after other teachers I'd watched. I planned and drank coffee and spent far too much time thinking about how to teach each standard. As the first day approached, my nerves got more tense. I started wondering if I'd made the right choice. However, even though the nerve wrecking August did arrive, so did many wonderful friends and collaborators who have stood beside me and my students this year. I want to write this as a thank you to each of them.
I met my first collaborator, Brandi Freed, a year before, and I remember thinking she was too bubbly for my taste. She was always laughing, and I couldn't quite figure out why. When she walked up to me a year later to tell me she was there to help me with the state test, I felt relieved that someone had been assigned to my case, but I just wasn't sure about this tan, curly-haired probably-former-sorority girl. The previous year, I'd become known to the students as the teacher in black, so I imagined our personalities would not mesh well.
Brandi sat down with me the day before school started and threw away all my carefully planned lessons from July. We pulled two kids' desks together in a humid classroom and she put a three inch binder on my desk.
"Here are the standards. Have you seen these before?"
I looked at her befuddled.
"Yes. Of course I have."
"Okay, well study them. Learn them. Get to know them. Use the PARCC evidence statements and the MDE scaffolding documents to help break them down. You and I are going to get AT LEAST 60% proficiency on this test. We are. You good with criticism and feedback?"
I thought for a minute. If I had to drop my pride for my kids, I would gladly check it at the door each day.
"Yes. I want them to do their best."
And that's how we began. Brandi came to me a lot at first, taught me how to manage better, how to teach standards, how to be "firm not hateful," how to do data analysis, how to use remediation groups, and how to be less sensitive. As the semester went on, she removed herself more and more as she saw me begin to grow and become more independent. She drops in every once and a while and we text goofy messages about frustrations we have with coworkers. Recently, she's become more of a friend than just a mentor. She checks in when I am sick and asks how my dating life is. I truly am thankful to have been wrong about her.
The second person I have to thank is the man who put me in this position. On that May afternoon, he gave me a chance that I truly didn't understand at the time. I had struggled the whole year. I do not know how he knew I would be able to step into this position this year. But he did.
We say down in his office the other day, as always amid paper and school lunches.
"Do you want me to persuade you or what?"
I leaned back in my chair, much more comfortable than I'd ever been the previous year, eating a PB+J and sipping on a ginger ale.
"Go for it."
"You need to stay another year and then apply for Principal Corps."
This conversation went on for my whole planning period as we discussed the future and laughed about kids and talked data. Garth has been a huge support to me this year, championing me in staff meetings, giving me roles of leadership, and never doubting my ability while always pushing me to keep the expectations higher than the test does. I will always be thankful for him and am glad to say I will be working alongside him for another year.
Ian Gutgold has become one of the truest friends I've ever had. I've never argued with someone and then wanted to give them a hug ten minutes later the way I do with him. Last year, Ian and I spent many evenings talking on the phone, encouraging each other not to quit. He spent weekends with my family, we got thai with Peter every Friday before class, and I even went to bars other than City Grocery so we could hang in Oxford. When it was official that Ian was coming to Aberdeen, I was overjoyed.
When Ian started at the beginning of the year, it was fun to share my wisdom on the sophomore class. We can commiserate so easily because we're the only ones who teach every kid in the 10th grade. I gave him pointers on which kids would be the most trouble (hit the nail on the head there- he has had to write Michael up as many times as I did, that big ole terror child), which kids would be an absolute joy (Tanzi, our brilliant, thoughtful scholar has won student of the week several times in each of our classes), and which kids would need extra help (because we all know those IEPs don't come until October). But since the beginning of the year, he has been much more help to me than I have to him.
Ian and I talk data on the kids. We get dinners where we discuss plans for how to help them improve for the state test. He constantly encourages me, listing every win I've had since the beginning of the year. He listens to the kids in his class and reports what they've said about mine. Whether it's confusion, exhaustion or excitement, I get the full report on how they think things are going through him overhearing things. He helps me push them by assigning essays that improve their writing skills and working with them on tough nonfiction documents like those that will appear on the state test.
One day in January, however, was one of the best days of proof for why I consider Ian not just an amazing collaborator but also an amazing friend.
My dad had surgery that day to remove his cancer, and I was diagnosed with pneumonia.
"Daria? You okay?"
I coughed into the phone. Gross.
"Yeah, do you know of any documents they can work on tomorrow? I am just so tired."
I'd been at the hospital with dad and mom since 7:00 and then another few hours in urgent care getting chest x-rays, steroid shots and antibiotics.
"Yeah, I have a great idea. It goes with what they're doing in my class. There are great context clues for vocab but it's high DOK and definitely challenging. I even have a few questions. Hang on, I'll message it to you and you stay on the phone. We'll make it together, then you'll write your blog and go to bed."
Ian rambles when he gets excited. But that is just what we did. He stayed on the phone and basically made a sub assignment for me and then reminded me again to do just what I am doing right now. If it wasn't for him, Aberdeen would truly be a much lonelier place. I am grateful that he made his way from the Delta over to our prairie.
Before I get too long-winded and the Oscar music begins playing, I do want to list the other people I have to thank for this year, those who may not have collaborated with me professionally, but supported and bolstered me the past two years as I cried and laughed and thought about quitting and staying.
To Beth for Starkville sleepovers and endless phone conversations.
To Mom for cheering me on and helping me understand the psychology of my students.
To Dad for challenging me and always cooking me dinner.
To Erin for talking about politics and life with me as a distraction from the struggles.
To Eleanor for holding my hand across the country.
To Soumya for sharing teaching stories.
To Riley for bringing joy to my life each and every day.
To Eliza for being an ELA and beach buddy.
To Darren for being the best fake brother around.
To Jacob for answering the door when I was shaking.
To Charlie for lending me your glasses and your ears.
To Presley for making me coffee and ordering cookies late at night.
To Virginia for giving me a home in Oxford.
To Chaning for snapchatting me every day in order to make me smile.
To Megan for being a constant presence and a wonderful confidant.
To Mollie for being the best roommate and high school english room until we die.
To Andrea for being my first non-MTC teacher friend.
To Peter for being my annex friend and word friend for 2 years.
To Katie for always loving me even though my appearances in Memphis are few.
To Alex for letting me take your picture and sending me music.
To Leray and Waldrop for making me laugh every day of my life.
To Colby and Jack for being my best Oxford dinners and evenings.
To Karen for being the best mentor someone can ask for.
To Tom for helping me through year one.
To Jean for Oxford evenings on vacation nights.
To Augusta and Blair and Mary Ball for hosting me in Jackson and loving me while I’m away.
To Natasha for writing me sticky notes first year.
To Kelsey for laughing with me about our silly boys.
To Sarah for encouraging me to apply to this wonderful program.
And finally, to my kids for being the most amazing, wonderful, terrible, crappy, lovable little twerps for two years. Gosh, I wish I could teach you forever.
As you can see, this is not a process that can be done alone. People are the reason I love my job and the reason I made it through these past two years and they are the reason I want to keep going.
I think back to Garth’s office and that conversation. I will admit when I took that on, I did not realize the pressure on the state test's shoulders. 300 points of the 1000 that we are graded on come from English II. That set in quickly for me as August approached. I planned lessons throughout July, trying to model things after other teachers I'd watched. I planned and drank coffee and spent far too much time thinking about how to teach each standard. As the first day approached, my nerves got more tense. I started wondering if I'd made the right choice. However, even though the nerve wrecking August did arrive, so did many wonderful friends and collaborators who have stood beside me and my students this year. I want to write this as a thank you to each of them.
I met my first collaborator, Brandi Freed, a year before, and I remember thinking she was too bubbly for my taste. She was always laughing, and I couldn't quite figure out why. When she walked up to me a year later to tell me she was there to help me with the state test, I felt relieved that someone had been assigned to my case, but I just wasn't sure about this tan, curly-haired probably-former-sorority girl. The previous year, I'd become known to the students as the teacher in black, so I imagined our personalities would not mesh well.
Brandi sat down with me the day before school started and threw away all my carefully planned lessons from July. We pulled two kids' desks together in a humid classroom and she put a three inch binder on my desk.
"Here are the standards. Have you seen these before?"
I looked at her befuddled.
"Yes. Of course I have."
"Okay, well study them. Learn them. Get to know them. Use the PARCC evidence statements and the MDE scaffolding documents to help break them down. You and I are going to get AT LEAST 60% proficiency on this test. We are. You good with criticism and feedback?"
I thought for a minute. If I had to drop my pride for my kids, I would gladly check it at the door each day.
"Yes. I want them to do their best."
And that's how we began. Brandi came to me a lot at first, taught me how to manage better, how to teach standards, how to be "firm not hateful," how to do data analysis, how to use remediation groups, and how to be less sensitive. As the semester went on, she removed herself more and more as she saw me begin to grow and become more independent. She drops in every once and a while and we text goofy messages about frustrations we have with coworkers. Recently, she's become more of a friend than just a mentor. She checks in when I am sick and asks how my dating life is. I truly am thankful to have been wrong about her.
The second person I have to thank is the man who put me in this position. On that May afternoon, he gave me a chance that I truly didn't understand at the time. I had struggled the whole year. I do not know how he knew I would be able to step into this position this year. But he did.
We say down in his office the other day, as always amid paper and school lunches.
"Do you want me to persuade you or what?"
I leaned back in my chair, much more comfortable than I'd ever been the previous year, eating a PB+J and sipping on a ginger ale.
"Go for it."
"You need to stay another year and then apply for Principal Corps."
This conversation went on for my whole planning period as we discussed the future and laughed about kids and talked data. Garth has been a huge support to me this year, championing me in staff meetings, giving me roles of leadership, and never doubting my ability while always pushing me to keep the expectations higher than the test does. I will always be thankful for him and am glad to say I will be working alongside him for another year.
Ian Gutgold has become one of the truest friends I've ever had. I've never argued with someone and then wanted to give them a hug ten minutes later the way I do with him. Last year, Ian and I spent many evenings talking on the phone, encouraging each other not to quit. He spent weekends with my family, we got thai with Peter every Friday before class, and I even went to bars other than City Grocery so we could hang in Oxford. When it was official that Ian was coming to Aberdeen, I was overjoyed.
When Ian started at the beginning of the year, it was fun to share my wisdom on the sophomore class. We can commiserate so easily because we're the only ones who teach every kid in the 10th grade. I gave him pointers on which kids would be the most trouble (hit the nail on the head there- he has had to write Michael up as many times as I did, that big ole terror child), which kids would be an absolute joy (Tanzi, our brilliant, thoughtful scholar has won student of the week several times in each of our classes), and which kids would need extra help (because we all know those IEPs don't come until October). But since the beginning of the year, he has been much more help to me than I have to him.
Ian and I talk data on the kids. We get dinners where we discuss plans for how to help them improve for the state test. He constantly encourages me, listing every win I've had since the beginning of the year. He listens to the kids in his class and reports what they've said about mine. Whether it's confusion, exhaustion or excitement, I get the full report on how they think things are going through him overhearing things. He helps me push them by assigning essays that improve their writing skills and working with them on tough nonfiction documents like those that will appear on the state test.
One day in January, however, was one of the best days of proof for why I consider Ian not just an amazing collaborator but also an amazing friend.
My dad had surgery that day to remove his cancer, and I was diagnosed with pneumonia.
"Daria? You okay?"
I coughed into the phone. Gross.
"Yeah, do you know of any documents they can work on tomorrow? I am just so tired."
I'd been at the hospital with dad and mom since 7:00 and then another few hours in urgent care getting chest x-rays, steroid shots and antibiotics.
"Yeah, I have a great idea. It goes with what they're doing in my class. There are great context clues for vocab but it's high DOK and definitely challenging. I even have a few questions. Hang on, I'll message it to you and you stay on the phone. We'll make it together, then you'll write your blog and go to bed."
Ian rambles when he gets excited. But that is just what we did. He stayed on the phone and basically made a sub assignment for me and then reminded me again to do just what I am doing right now. If it wasn't for him, Aberdeen would truly be a much lonelier place. I am grateful that he made his way from the Delta over to our prairie.
Before I get too long-winded and the Oscar music begins playing, I do want to list the other people I have to thank for this year, those who may not have collaborated with me professionally, but supported and bolstered me the past two years as I cried and laughed and thought about quitting and staying.
To Beth for Starkville sleepovers and endless phone conversations.
To Mom for cheering me on and helping me understand the psychology of my students.
To Dad for challenging me and always cooking me dinner.
To Erin for talking about politics and life with me as a distraction from the struggles.
To Eleanor for holding my hand across the country.
To Soumya for sharing teaching stories.
To Riley for bringing joy to my life each and every day.
To Eliza for being an ELA and beach buddy.
To Darren for being the best fake brother around.
To Jacob for answering the door when I was shaking.
To Charlie for lending me your glasses and your ears.
To Presley for making me coffee and ordering cookies late at night.
To Virginia for giving me a home in Oxford.
To Chaning for snapchatting me every day in order to make me smile.
To Megan for being a constant presence and a wonderful confidant.
To Mollie for being the best roommate and high school english room until we die.
To Andrea for being my first non-MTC teacher friend.
To Peter for being my annex friend and word friend for 2 years.
To Katie for always loving me even though my appearances in Memphis are few.
To Alex for letting me take your picture and sending me music.
To Leray and Waldrop for making me laugh every day of my life.
To Colby and Jack for being my best Oxford dinners and evenings.
To Karen for being the best mentor someone can ask for.
To Tom for helping me through year one.
To Jean for Oxford evenings on vacation nights.
To Augusta and Blair and Mary Ball for hosting me in Jackson and loving me while I’m away.
To Natasha for writing me sticky notes first year.
To Kelsey for laughing with me about our silly boys.
To Sarah for encouraging me to apply to this wonderful program.
And finally, to my kids for being the most amazing, wonderful, terrible, crappy, lovable little twerps for two years. Gosh, I wish I could teach you forever.
As you can see, this is not a process that can be done alone. People are the reason I love my job and the reason I made it through these past two years and they are the reason I want to keep going.